Suddenly, I felt sick. I wanted to run away. I didn\’t want to be close to anyone. I didn\’t want anybody to touch me or talk to me. So I walked away. But then Carol started following me, I smiled and as she turned around the corner, I went the other way. I smiled again and tried to wave her away. I started walking faster thinking I could lose her in the crowd. Eventually, I stopped and let her catch up to me.
\”Do you want to be alone?\” she asked.
I laughed and mumbled \”yes.\” Trying to keep it light-hearted. Then I found an empty seat sort of desolate on the other side of the club. Then I saw other people wandering on the second floor near the bar. They could see me. I quickly found a couch that was hidden behind a stairwell. For some reason, I wanted to cry. This was overwhelming. I don\’t know what it was. But I felt this fist in my throat and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.
I felt like this earlier in the week. I feel like I have acted my way here that I am not being myself. That I am tired of being somebody I am not. Smiling when I am not happy, just to make others happy. I had this incredible urge to be alone. I suddenly had this thought of running outside into the cold and catching the bus home. After all, that is why I did bring my school id just in case the worst happened.
I am weeping now, because I feel so distressed. And ultimately, I don\’t know why. I want to be left alone…for now at least.
Modern art touches a sore spot, or several sore spots, in the ordinary citizen of which he is totally unaware. The more irritated he becomes at modern art the more he betrays the fact that he himself, and his civilization, are implicated in what the artist shows him. by texas holdem