I really liked hanging out with Andy on Saturday. It was one of those few times that I felt…felt…well, was it really at ease? Was it delusion? It just made me feel whole and needed.
It was just nice to see him. But I have trouble reading what he wants and prefers.
Should I let things be…let it go the normal route? Should I just let the day of my departure come closer and closer without acknowledging it? Should I find the common bond that I believed that we share? Should I do all of that wishing always for something more? Should I never stop hoping?
It bothers me how I walk through cmu…taking the long way sometimes only because I want to run into him. Like I did unexpectedly the last month. But now that it\’s intentional, I don\’t know what to think anymore.
I have structured my life around being single and independent that it\’s so weird to think there could be someone else out there. I am not alone, but sometimes I feel like I am.