Andy just called me. And suddenly I remember how easy it was to talk to him. How we had this easy camaraderie that allowed us to relate to each other really well. Very unlike Ben.
I know now that I can just be friends with Andy. And suddenly I want to do the same with Ben. I don\’t know how much Ben really likes me, but I know I will do as I please.
Somehow I feel somewhat guilty now that I have this thing going on with Ben when there\’s Andy. But well, I am leaving. I almost relieved that I am leaving so soon, because this will not last. Neither one.
I don\’t want to hurt Ben\’s feelings because Andy suddenly showed up again. I feel guilty more that I told Ben about Andy. But I can\’t stop speaking. I can\’t stop.