So Ben is crashing tonight. At first, I was set aback, not really wanting him to stay. Because really he\’s an old flame, and that isn\’t supposed to be worth my time.
But well, out of guilt, I let him stay the night. On the futon that is. Because he didn\’t plan well enough to have a place to stay Thursday night.
And so he arrived. And we talked. But it made me nostalgic for could have been. We basically only dated for a month and that was it because we were parting ways. And it just reminded me of what could have been. His way of acting like a big baby. His short laugh almost nervous, but not quite. And his grad school ambitions.
I wish things were worse between us. I wish that we had argued, fought and cried. But instead we had said \”see you later\” with a smile and at that time, we were earnest to see each other again.