\”No I don\’t want to take a taxi\” turned almost into a feeling of guilt and misjudgement.
One of my best friends is Joe. But sometimes I can\’t help but be myself. I don\’t like certain things. And there are times I let my own selfishness/greediness show…but I quickly realize it. But after years of being stomped on, I have a habit of trying to serve myself first.
\”Sometimes you have nuances…that you have your opinion about…that become accentuated when you meet someone else. Sometimes overly so.\” he said.
I felt guilty. I wasn\’t good. But I couldn\’t help insisting that I wanted to take the BART. That I didn\’t want to take a taxi. That it was appalling to me…that I would take a taxi by myself when I could just as easily walk to the station which was a block away. Or even hobble all the way to the Mission to take the 14. It just made sense to me.
Why spend money…when I can be like the Mexican janitor getting off at midnight. I am not afraid. But because I can afford a cab ride, does my personality become worse because I refuse to?
Once Marina accused me of being a penny pincher. I hated being labeled something so negative, but that\’s the way I was.