When listening to songs I used to play during my contemplative, emotional moods while at CMU…I am reminded of that pause I would take. The pause I would have to reflect on life.
And so playing one such song through iTunes, I reflect on what I have now.
I have a great job incoming. Supportive friends and so forth. But what\’s not perfect?
Today, as I was taking the 22 from the dogpatch, I realized…well it\’s perfect…but not quite. Usually at this stage of life, most people have decided to settle. To settle with someone.
Every step I take, I say his name…only a desire to want him by my side. The kind that makes me safe, protected. I am sad, I am hopelessly hopeful that he will succeed. That he will find the career, the path that deserves him.
There are some people who would say that I am lucky. I have been handed many things in life: a (usually) supportive family with enough wealth to send me both to undergrad and grad school, a natural ability to make friends (once I get past my social anxiety), a natural appeal to people who I enjoy spending time with (for better or worse), careers…mostly. I have been blessed with a keen ability to know how to spend my money. I am economical, frugal, and usually practical.
I could not run for political office—there\’s too much of my personality in the way. And it\’s not quite what i want to do. But what is of the luck.
I wish I could brush up to him and let him have some of my luck. That I prefer would be my role.