Sleep is incoming.
But emotional affairs. He called it that—an emotional affair. I wonder if I had been nearly too literal with my message and setting the boundaries.
But like I told Joe today—words don\’t do anything. Words can\’t undo the feelings and the emotions that are already there. And the definitions…the confusion of that…is why I feel that it is not resolved.
It was a cool night as I left yesterday night. Something that I lost—a longing. I felt incomplete and I did not understand why.
There\’s a good chance that all of this will fall apart in a month or so. So I am just hoping for that—it will resolve and undo itself. Yet, I don\’t want anyone to be hurt.
Quiet and silence now. I hear nobody except Imogen Heap from iTunes…and the laughter from the ongoings in the Mission.
Is there a reason why they say it\’s hard to be friends became a woman and man if sex gets in the way? After having being with Chris with so long, I just want someone here…here with me. Tears fill me as I struggle for clarity. They wrap me and bound me, suffocating because I still don\’t know any better. Fears bounded. They bristle to be let out, unleashing a fury. I won\’t let it happen because I love him too much.