I want to believe that it\’s better now. I want to believe that I am happier now. The career path. The boyfriend. The place of living.
I have designed it…modified it…shaped it. The friends I chose carefully. My interests. All self-selected.
But right now, I am dissatisfied with something. It\’s not that I am unhappy. But it\’s not that I am happy either. Perhaps I am at a place where things are just ok…they were good…and I want to believe that they are good, but I keep finding faults and faults.
Perfection is not what I am striving for. And yet, what is it?
Maybe it\’s because there aren\’t many people in the world that can see eye-to-eye as I do. Taiche can\’t although he will listen in his way. Many of my friends don\’t.
This is what I want: I want to stand on a great mountain, a tall cliff—hand in hand. We could scream loudly until our voices are exhausted. The exhilaration, the risk, the energy—and we collapse back in a heap. Untormented.