It’s simply well…simply not good enough.
I think back to that one interview where she asked about my imposter snydrome. I described it in what I believed was an imposter snydrome. Feeling like my successes didn’t match up. But then I also described in a way that it would disappear. I asked whether it matched what she had heard elsewhere. But then I pointed out…what if it’s true? what if I don’t belong?
She said, “No, it doesn’t. It’s very different.”
Since that day, it confused me. Does imposter snydrome make sense when you’re fully rejected? Isn’t that the core fear of the syndrome? At least, FINALLY, you’re exposed. So the snydrome is no longer about a fear of the unknown—which for some is wholly untrue. Rather it’s true and it’s talked about!
That’s what plagues me a lot. A rejection is a clear signal that you don’t belong. At least at one place. Despite all the common rationale of bad culture fit or bad timing. It’s obvious! So I don’t see how it can be interpreted in any other way.
So all I can do is milk the opportunity as much as possible for what I can personally do.