what i miss

the screams the yells.

the rants, the debates.

The excitement of the unknown.

I can say that is what I miss about leaving college. It\’s so different from high school (which I probably have observed so many times). I am not an outsider. I am someone.

The other day I was at the community pool for a \”free\” bbq, being my arrognant self. I saw the plastic surgery Lafayette ladies. The kind that obviously spent too much money on a yoga trainer…and a tanning salon. Who can\’t say that I wasn\’t jealous of her flat stomach? But so I was there. And I mentioned to some adults that I had just graduated from UC Berkeley. What was their perception? Did I look like someone who had accomplished an unsurmountable task? I expected them to congratulate me, but not everyone did. My dad went on to mention that I had turned 22 recently. Not many people cared. I joked…did I look 22? One guy said…yes. And so here is where I have to succumb to the adult indifference. I watched the families laugh and play. Their children splashing water on each other. And all at once, it repulsed me. Their life was so dull. Every adult I encountered cared only about themselves. Friends were only people you wrote to for christmas cards. They are no longer real people. People absorb themselves into their family–when they talk about anybody…they talk about their sister in law, their brother. It seemed so boring. I don\’t know how I could be satisfied with it. But perhaps this is the young me talking.

A guy…fairly pleasantly plump…came over to the table to sit with his dad. I found out that he was finishing his 2nd year at DVC, the local community college. I was slightly…disgusted…was he the kind of person that wasn\’t able to succeed in college, being forced to succumb to the low-par education of a community college. A place where I could take a course with my eyes closed and get an A? Maybe I was that arrognant. I asked him what his plans were later…he said he planned to transfer to an university and major in materials engineering. I remembered the engineering commencement and recalled the small major of materials sciences. I had no idea what the major was…and I asked if he was applying to Berkeley. He immediately responded that he was looking for the best program, best school. Smart choice. Then he said that he probably needed 3-4 more semesters of classes at DVC before transferring, because he still needed to finish the lower division requirements of physics and chem. I was suddenly critical when he said that he needed that much time…so that he could pass. I couldn\’t imagine any class being that difficult at a community college. It should be a breeze, right?

and so it goes.