a critical eye

I am too critical sometimes and I know it. There are some people who don\’t know how to maintain friendships. And there\’s me. I will always maintain it, but when I see something that I don\’t like…I obviously don\’t maintain. I consistently maintain if I see value.

I look at my buddy list and see people that I would never im, because they never returned the same energy I gave toward them. Chris Wu. I used to let him rant to me, and I did try to speak to him. but all this has become is…just a hi to each other when we see each other in person. But for that matter, I don\’t see a potential good friend in him. In that, it was difficult that one time when I went out to lunch with him. I found myself trying very hard to keep a conversation. I guess he has a socal mentality, a self-focused edge. And then there\’s Norman. Our conversations are always great in person, but I think if I gave more effort, we could actually have something. But we are always so self-involved that we forget.

Today during my video class, I found myself being…somewhat bossy. I couldn\’t help it. I remember this was the exact same behavior that I had during 6th grade when planning out a short play. We were to act out a scene from a book we read for class. And suddenly I had the brillant idea and insisted that we do the MANGO TREE story.

And so there was this class assignment and I found myself pushing myself to frame each shot, direct each shot, insist on how the camera should move. Then afterwards, I felt all self-righteous…blah blah.